Sometimes I think my brain is trying to kill me.

So, there I was in what has been lovingly dubbed my "cave" by my family, when I realized that I was kinda hungry. And by kinda I mean, I'm pretty sure I forgot to eat again. Anyway, my choices were to stay in the safety of my cave and starve to death, or call upon the map who will tell me I must venture forth through the perilous maze of shit my sister has left in front of my door, down the stairs that may or may not be blocked off through, cross through the living room as quickly and silently as possible to reach the kitchen.

Eventually my stomach made it very clear that I would not be wasting away in my cave if it had a say in the matter, and I put on my battle face ready to undertake my quest. The first two phases of my quest went surprisingly well. The normal maze of rubbish was simply not present and the stairs were shockingly clear of any obstruction. It was the living room portion that gave me trouble. I noticed that my step brother was watching Doctor Who, a show I had accidentally gotten him addicted to earlier in the month. Because I am a total Whooligan and can't not sit down and watch an episode if it's one, I plopped down on the couch and forgot all about my quest to get something to eat.

After the episode was finished, I picked myself back up and went back to my cave. Because, well that's just where I live now. I played pokémon for a bit, because I am a total child and love that game more than most things. I'm actually doing a Nuzloke run of Emerald soon. I might have to post screenshots of it on here. That could be fun.

Anyway, an hour or two of pokémon induced trance was broken when my stomach kindly informed me that if I did not complete the quest for something to eat it would be leaving to find a stomach-less person who would remember to feed it every day. Only in less words and more "Oh God oh God I'm totally gonna die" type feeling. Since my stomach leaving would be a bloody mess, and blood is extremely difficult to get out of my bedding I re-emerged from my cave. Blinking at the unfamiliar sensation of light that was not filtered through a DS screen.

I managed to once more make my way through the various obstacles that impeded me from my original goal of trying to get something to eat. This time I managed to resist the temptations of watching Doctor Who, mainly because watching it with my step brother is pretty unbearable. I don't understand how he can like Rose more than Donna. Donna was amazing.

And there I had it. Tortilla chips. The dinner of champions right there. So, my goal completed I made my way back to the cave to eat my chips. Because, you know what was the point otherwise?

Right fast forward a few hours. The chips are long forgotten, and I'm about ready to try my hand at that sleeping thing I've heard so much about. It's about four in the morning now, and all of the lights in the house are out. So, my quest had just been put on hard mode. Well, I was all "Challenge accepted!" and managed to feel my way past the various obstacles and not kill myself going down the stairs and even managed to sneak silently through the living room without waking my step brother who was sleeping on the couch. I was feeling quite proud of myself until it came time to actually put the chips away. We keep our snack foods in a cabinet next to the sink. As I bent down to put the chips in the snack cabinet, my face was met with something warm and fuzzy.

Naturally, my first instinct was to panic. I screamed (waking up my parents and step brother in the process) and put as much distance between myself and the sensation that was not supposed to be there as possible. That happened to land me against the kitchen table where I automatically searched for a weapon until my brain caught up with the primal panic that I was experiencing. I realized that I had panicked (and again, woken my entire household) for no reason. It was my cat, who just wanted to say hello.

Now, I've had this cat for most of my life. I know exactly what his fur feels like. I should have been able to guess that that was what it was right off, but no. My brain was just trolling me. That fucker.