Minecraft

So, here's my entire thoughts on this game. God damn green blowy-upy-things, and why can't I stop smelting shit?
Oh what? You wanted to read more? Well, here's everything I've done in the whole day and a half I've been playing.

When I first started playing, I knew only what my friends had been telling me about the game. Stay away from the green guys they'll blow you and your shit up. Also there are skeletons. Watch out for those guys as well.

So, my little avatar guy woke up on the deserted island the game decided to drop me on, and I wandered around trying to figure out what I should be doing. Now, I understand that there isn't a real goal to Minecraft. The goal is whatever castle/rollercoaster/sprawling metropolis/ruining each other's day you decide to do with it, but I couldn't figure out how to make any of the buttons go do.

Eventually, I figured out how to punch shit. So, I punched some roses. Then I had some roses. "Awesome" I said, "Now what?" I didn't really have an answer to that one. i was able to craft the roses into something called a "rose red" but I don't know what it's for, so meh. Then I saw a cow. I said to myself, "Blanche, go punch that cow to death." And so I did. Got some leather out of the deal as well. Dunno what leather's for, but I punched a cow to death to get it, so I'm sure as hell gonna keep it.

After about ten minutes of running around killing cows with my bare fists (and occasionally a flower) night fell. And that was when I realized that this game hates me. I ended up getting blown to pieces a couple of times, and sought refuge in the ocean. I figured the zombie-whatever-things wouldn't be able to swim, and so I could wait them out until day broke. Turns out they can swim, at least enough to scare me. Anyway, being blown up cost me my hard-punched leather and flowers, so I was effectively back to square one once the sun rose and the zombies stopped trying to blow me up.

So, I looked up an online tutorial, because there is no other way for you to figure out how to do anything in this game. "What do you mean I have to punch the tree, then put the wood blocks into the bottom corner square of my crafty-box-thing to get wood planks, which I then split up and fill out the horizontal line to create a stick which I'll then use a couple of to make my pickaxe. What does coal look like? How do I get it? Why is there a green blowy-upy-guy out in the day? Thought those guys could only come out in the night-time. Can I just go back to punching cows? That was really fun."

So, after following the instructions, and dying in several spectacular ways. At one point, I thought I could escape the green blowy-upy-guys and their zombie friends by tunneling. It was a good theory, until I accidentally tunneled up into the bottom of a lake and drowned.

Now I've set up shop in my old iron mine, and have been slowly smelting all of the cobblestone I've collected while trying to get valuable shit into stone blocks. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them yet, but in my quest to level off the area where my hidey-hole is I've collected quite a few of them. Perhaps I'll use them to build a real house when the time comes.

Anyway, let's sum this up. This game is stupid and frustrating and once you start I don't know if you'll be able to stop. There. Now I'm going back to my smelting.