Dear Brain,

It may come as a shock to you to hear this, but three am is not writing time. It is sleeping time. Kindly shut the fuck up so I can get some sleep. Seriously, I didn't sleep at all last night and aside from an hour long nap this morning I haven't slept at all tonight either. I know I've told you that three am is writing time in the past, and this may be sending you mixed signals. Trust me when I say that when the sun is down, it is generally considered time to sleep. We are not creatures of the night. Now, let me go to sleep. Please.